Choosing To Never Grow Up
I debated blogging about this for a couple days, as it is something that I am drawn to write about yet, cannot help but wonder if this topic could end up a tad bit controversial. I titled this blog, “Choosing to Never Grow Up” but it could also easily be titled, “Possibly Spoiled and Eternally Selfish.” I wouldn’t dare deny the fact that I never wanted to grow up and ended up creating a life that reflects exactly that. This blog may be interesting to some and annoying to others. But either way, I am about to get uncomfortably honest.
I joke about being a 40-year-old teenager, but there is a lot of truth to that. Even as a small child, I would look at the world around me and quickly take notice to the fact that most adults seemed stressed out, overworked, tired, frustrated, and even resentful. In my world back then, I couldn’t locate a single grown-up that appeared carefree, silly, and fun. It was a difficult task to locate anyone taller than me who wasn’t carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. While my tiny brained permanently carved this perspective into my neuropathways, I was simultaneously enjoying being quite spoiled and often “babied” by my parents. My mother would joke about keeping me little forever. Even after graduating High School, I was still being taken on week-long Walt Disney World trips, as if I was no more than 10-years old. I remember wondering why there was such a vast separation between “vacation” and “real life.” In my still developing brain, I didn’t understand why “reality” couldn’t be more fun. Why was the day-to-day filled with work, worry, and exhaustion, while play, laughter, and adventure was reserved for only 2-weeks out of the year? It just didn’t make any sense to me. I wanted no part of growing up. It looked awful.
*Yes, I am fully aware that my vantage point was a direct reflection on my personal environment, but either way, here we are.
So, what was the outcome? I wanted to remain FREE. I didn’t care about getting older, aging, or evolving, as long as I didn't trade what felt like “freedom” for what felt like “being caged.” (Again, small disclaimer for those who are already getting their feathers ruffled — YES, this is all personal perspective and what it “felt” like for me. This is not the reality for everyone. I am only speaking for self.)
- KID FREE
By the age of 31, I made it official. I never wanted to become a mother. I have a memory of being pre-school aged, playing with a small baby doll, when my mom’s friend says to me, “You’re such a good little mommy with that baby.” To which I replied, “I’m not her mommy, I’m her big sister. I don’t have to take care of her, I just play with her.” Where in the world did such a young child come up with that?! Either way, my perspective never shifted. Right after my 31st birthday, I went in for surgery and removed my Fallopian Tubes. That was that.
2) DEBT FREE
I support all those that are advocates of education and high five every single one of my friends and family members that enrolled in college and graduated with associate degrees, bachelor degrees, master’s degrees, and more. Ya’ll are AMAZING!!! However, we already know that was not the path I was going to choose for myself. The silver lining to choosing more of a “job” than a “career” is that I do not have any college loans to pay off. In fact, the only loan I have is for my car payment. I do not do debt. That also means, I do not own a credit card. I also do not endorse installment plans of any kind or subscriptions. If we cannot buy it outright, we do not buy it all. My husband and I are not millionaires, not even close! But when you are not in debt to the world, you sure can feel abundant.
3) SOCIALLY FREE
Our gated community feels like Summer Camp, and I am obsessed with the vibes. My neighbors are some of my best friends. There isn’t a single week that doesn’t include block parties, themed dinners, dance classes, walking groups, or just meeting up at the big Friday night Football game. As a child, I would walk down the street, knock on my friend’s front door and ask if they could come out and play. Absolutely, nothing has changed. My favorite part of these community friendships is that there are no expectations, obligations, or demands in our space. People ebb & flow all day and nobody makes anybody wrong.
4) CHOOSING THE RIGHT PET
I almost didn’t blog about this part, but I think it’s fairly important to acknowledge. I know by now I must sound like the most selfish or self-centered human around. I promise, I am not even close. But I understand why my lifestyle choices could invite that perspective. I get it. However, I have a lot of love to give, and it is often extremely easy for me to gift my undivided attention to a friend in need or an animal in need. My love for all animals is unconditional, but I wanted to adopt the right pet(s) that would be a perfect match for the lifestyle we were creating. (For example, if you were someone that was not home a lot, loved to sleep in, or were generally kind of lazy, nobody would recommend you adopting a high energy dog that requires daily exercise and massive attention.) Today, I am proud to chat about Finn and Toby, our 2 cats that were rescued and then adopted by us. Oh, and they are spoileddddddd. But even spoiling them is super-duper simple. They have an endless supply of food, water, treats, toys, and snuggles. We all know how chill cats typically are. I get to love on my boys without feeling overly needed by them. A perfect match.
5) CHOOSING THE RIGHT JOB
Just because I shy away from responsibility doesn’t mean I also shy away from commitment or am irresponsible. Even though I am “just a waitress” as some may say, I am a damn good one. I never call out, I am always early, and my attitude is rarely less than peppy positive. I genuinely enjoy my tables, connecting with people, and soaking up the camaraderie among my co-workers. Did I mention that server jobs are also half-days? Making $100 in 4-hours and then going home couldn’t be more perfect for my personality.
…SO, WHAT’S THE POINT?
My days consist of bike rides, cocktails by the pool, nature walks, live music, Mario Kart, and blogging. So, am I bragging? Ew, gross. No. In fact, there are MANY men and women out there that would view my life as sad and unfulfilling. And for them, it would be. There are several ladies in my life who are thriving with their full plates filled with PTA meetings, college exams, or dinner on the table at 6pm. They cherish the momentum of kids, spouses, after-school activities, and their excelling careers. THE POINT; There is no wrong way to do life. Your life purpose is what YOU decide it to be. You will feel in your gut. Was my life purpose to remain 16-years old forever? Not exactly. But what if my life purpose is to never lose my childlike essence? What if my joyful ways of being actually end up raising the vibration of those around me? What if my purpose is to be so light, carefree, and silly that I infuse fun wherever I go? What if my way of being…brightens someone’s day? How wonderfully infectious. I cannot think of a more perfect purpose.
