Beliefs I No Longer Believe In

Since the day we pop out of the womb and take our place on this spinning water rock, we are fed a TON of information. What to do, what not to do, how to behave, when to speak, what to believe in, and so much more. Guardians often walk a fine line between gently guiding our minds in a positive direction with the intent to set us up for success, vs. straight brainwashing us to adopt the exact same values, morales, fears, and limitations as those raising us. Think about how many small babies are assigned a religion and a long list of traditions that their families participate in due to culture, background, and belief. Today, the world around us continues to attempt to sway our perspectives when it comes to politics, church, beauty standards, and how we are supposed to see ourselves & society. I have ditched a handful of beliefs and truly feel happier because of it. As I share a few things below that I no longer subscribe to, please do not take this list as disrespect. If a fellow blogger or reader still holds value to something I have discarded, that is perfectly okay. My way is not the right way. It is just the right way for me at this time. Take what resonates, ignore what doesn’t.

And here we goooo….

“My weight matters.””— Actually, it doesn’t. If there is a battle with potential obesity, high cholesterol, unhealthy blood sugar levels, etc. etc., then the scale can be a phenomenal tool to help track necessary wellness progress. But if we are talking about stressing the difference between 129lbs and 132lbs, throw that scale in the trash! Immediately. I tossed my bathroom scale into the garbage 5-years ago and will most likely never own one again. Concern over vanity pounds is something that is taught to us, not something that typically has a direct impact on our health.

“I am responsible for how others feel.” — Saying, “I’m sorry” can easily fly out of my mouth a hundred times a day. Especially at work. For example, (as a waitress) if I accidently ring in the wrong meal and the Chef has to quickly make the correct meal on the fly, I am responsible for his additional work, and it is appropriate for me to express my apologies for his extra efforts. However, if he has a full-blown adult-sized temper tantrum and begins to curse, slam down pots, and flip out….I am NOT responsible for that part. Your perspectives, your feelings, and your behaviors are YOURS.

“If people come to me with their problems, I must fix them.” — How often do people come to you with a personal issue? For me, fairly frequently. Years ago, I used to apply great pressure on myself to solve whatever dilemma someone else had going on. I would frantically search my mind to offer that solid gold advice that could cure all. Or I would spring into action, as if I wore a cape, ready to attack a situtation that had nothing to do with me. It is not our job to run around the planet “saving” our friends and family from hardship. Period. Today, I simply just listen. I hold space for those venting and offer gently emotional support. That is all I do.

“I am too much.” — Oh, this one I have heard my entire life, so it was super-duper easy to believe. I am a naturally high energy, high vibrational being. I love everyone and I love life. My peppy positive demeanor was not always appreciated, and I was often told to “Calm down,” or to “Stop being so happy.” I have been called weird, annoying, and even obnoxious. I used to be embarrassed of who I was and even spent years attempting to water down my personality. F**k that!!!! Now, I allow the core of who I am to attract those that surf my same vibe and keep away those that aren’t a match for me.

“Aggressive equals tough.” — I come from a long line of strong, Alpha female energy, with New York attitudes, and a spicy Italian way of being. I am beyond grateful for the gift of gab that was bestowed upon me. I was raised to be articulate, and I have an amazing ability to stand up for myself. However, I have made changes along the way. CALM has become my superpower. I take my time, I pause, I slow down, I choose my thoughts, and I choose my approach. I am no longer emotionally reactive. Instead, I reflect first and then I invite in a powerful conversation. Verbally attacking someone does not make you tough! In my eyes, the real strength is going through hard times, life challenges, and dealing with difficult people, but yet still maintaining an open mind, loving heart, and a gentle disposition.

…I could certainly list a few more, but I think I shall leave you with just these for now.

What would be some items on your list of old beliefs?