3 Habits I GAVE UP, in Exchange for Inner PEACE

I’d love to sit here and be able to blog all about how I am nothing less than pure, positive energy, wrapped in joy and spewing fairy dust every moment of every day. That would be one heck of a bold lie! I am a human, just like you. And a messy human at that. I have mastered nothing, but I have had the privilege of really getting to know and understand what is workable for me and what is not. The world around us is still a mystery but fortunately, with the help of some extraordinary mentors, I have truly gotten to know myself, my triggers, my thought patters, and my behaviors. As you get to know yourself better, it becomes clear what to discard. Here is a short list of 3 habits that I permanently ditched, that immediately brought me peace.

1. BEING RIGHT. — We all have beliefs and values that we hold close to our heart. In fact, some of those beliefs can even feel like they shape our identity. We rock bumper stickers, home decor, clothing, and even accessories that proudly showcase our religious beliefs, political beliefs, and more. That’s wonderful! However, when your religion or political party is encouraging that their way is the ONLY way, or worse…the “RIGHT” way, well…..yikes! It is truly heartbreaking (and slightly confusing) to watch pure rage and anger rise in a person while they are talking about how their Church is the right one and someone else’s church is the wrong one. Call me crazy, but isn’t that the OPPOSITE of God’s love???? I say, let people practice and support whatever they want. For example, I’m vegan. Do I think it is my personal duty to travel globe, shaming those who eat meat or dairy? Absolutely not. What works for me, doesn’t work for all. My husband (and 2 cats) eat enough meat to make a T-Rex proud! And even though my beliefs about veganism are deep in my heart, that does not mean my way is the “right” way. Secret time…THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY. It doesn’t exist. The Human Existence is not a “Black & White” experience. This life is a giant grey area. Do what feels right for you and allow others to do what feels right for them. You do not have to approve or agree. But you also do not have to attack others, preach to them, or force them down a shame spiral. Give each other some grace and let’s choose to lead with compassion. I promise that being “right” all the time will quickly get exhausting.
2. JUDGEMENTS — Oh, how easy it is to judge ourselves and others. But why are we doing this? How did it begin? Most likely, it was taught to us. When we were 3-years old, singing our favorite Disney tune at the top of our lungs, were we embarrassed because our voice was not the best or we forgot the lyrics? Not even a little. We were belting out those notes from our soul and probably adding some toddler-style dance moves to it as well! So, what happened? We learned that we could be judged and criticized. (which doesn’t feel good!) NOBODY is perfect and NOBODY has it all figured out, so let’s stop the madness. If you observe a person and/or a behavior that is not for you, then acknowledge that to self and keep it moving. We do not have to inform people of how they “should” or “shouldn’t” be. Encouraging each other to pick apart someone’s style, appearance, voice, dance moves, creativity, athletic abilities, finances, level of intelligence, or whatever else, just plain lowers your own vibration. Give it up. Not only will YOU feel better, but you will also simultaneously begin to stop judging yourself, too.
3. PEOPLE PLEASING — My new favorite word is, “No.” If I am not comfortable with something, someone, or a situation, I politely remove myself. I have learned to carefully tune-in and listen to my body, my gut instinct, and my own needs. It is OKAY to reschedule plans, cancel plans, take time for self, and say, “No, thank you.” In fact, saying, “I am not comfortable with that” has become a magic sentence for me. It is respectful, yet honest. I still very much love and adore all people, maintain kindness, stay respectful, and as always, I am still extremely considerate of others. But that doesn’t mean I do whatever anybody asks of me, just because I want them to like me. I will not sacrifice my comfort for social approval.

Ditching these 3 habits has elevated me to a level of inner peace I didn’t even know I could reach! To be fair, I could probably list a few more, but today, we will start with just these 3.

What are some habits that YOU have chosen to leave behind?